Frequently Asked Questions

Who are you?
We are you. You are who we are, and you always have been, unknowingly.

What do you need to join?
A fez. A real fez. There are many places from which a fez may be purchased. If in Paris, there is a dark, secret shop between Place Pigalle and the Montmarte Funiculaire. We cannot publish the address for reasons of security. However, one also may obtain an official fez at http://www.villagehatshop.com/fez_black_tassel.html if so inclined.

Is there an official ID card?
Yes, the fez.

What are my obligations as a member of the Royal Order of the Fez?
Every third Thursday of the month you must wear the fez in public for at least one hour. This will create confusion among those you know. Do nothing to erase this confusion. If your friend displays admiration, you may tap the friend for membership at your discretion.

Can I wear the fez on other days?
Of course. We recommend wearing it in the following circumstances: airplane travel, annual job evaluations, library visitations (a very meaningful ritual that will be described in a later blog), wine tasting, and, of course, whenever you go to a thrift store.

What color fez should I acquire?
Maroon with black tassle is standard. However, different color fez are appropriate in different circumstances. When performing a civil ceremony such as a wedding or a dedication of a library, only a black fez should be worn. In this case the tassle should be matched to the ceremony. Please note that Fez Bob has decreed that the orange fez is just silly, and this decree will be in place for the remainder of this calendar year. That doesn't mean you can't wear it, though.

Does this group have any other affiliations?
Although we have sympathies for other groups, we have no affiliations. However, the Royal Order of the Fez has declared itself a Francophile organization for the remained of this millennium.

I'm English, does that mean I can't join?
Absolutely not. We have also declared ourselves Anglophiles during odd years. In fact, one of the most important pilgrimages that every member must take during his or her life is in Britain. To ensure vitality and prosperity, EVERY member must at some point make a pilgrimage to the reading room of the British Library, and sit in this room and read while wearing a fez.

That's enough for now, my friend. When you've acquired your fez, we will expect you to email us a picture of you wearing the fez. Future posts will discuss other obligations, the history of the order, and fez culture. Adieu...
Fez jim